Why 2012 Will Continue To Be My AHA Year

Happy New Year Kumekuchans!!!

Most of us imagine that we are fairly intelligent and will never lose an opportunity to point out how “slow” others are in grasping stuff. But the truth is that we are all NOT very clever. The whole lot of us.

How do you for instance explain full grown men huddled in a small bar with no ventilation just to watch the images of 22 full grown men chasing around an inflated cow hide beamed onto a screen in the room from a very far away land? And then some of them have the audacity to go out and kill themselves just because some of the vicious leather-kicking-chaps did not hack the damn cow hide between two posts. Humans can't be that bright.

And I can give many, many more examples that prove that the human race is nothing short of idiots who think they are very clever.

But once in a while people do admit how dumb they have been and that is what I call the “aha” moment. When you see things so very clearly for the first time. For Isaac Newton an apple had to fall from a tree above and hit his soft mzungu head hard for him to “see” that there was something called gravity (why had nobody thought of that all those centuries?).

For yours truly it may have been a flying beer bottle colliding with my head on New Year’s Eve thrown with uncommon venom by a Kalonzo Musyoja die-hard supporter. This rabid tribalist-beer-bottle-thrower did not take kindly to my insightful observation that it was easier for my dead grandmother to be elected the fourth president of Kenya posthumously than it was for one Kalonzo Musyoka to win the presidency even after all his possible opponents were conveniently locked up at the Hague and the key thrown into that river I hear passes close to that famous city.

Anyway the details of that bottle collision with my head and the resultant injuries are nowhere near as important as what happened immediately after impact. I had one of those major “aha” moments where everything became so crystal clear to me. Especially the idiotic Kenyan politics I write about in this blog.

Kumekucha readers can expect to benefit tremendously from this great aha moment in the posts to follow and every single one you will read here in this very political year.

I take this opportunity to apologize to you all for all the dumb posts of the past. I promise to shape up in 2012.

Kindly share your “aha’ moments of 2011 in the comments section below even as you look forward to my upcoming aha posts of 2012 on Kenyan politics and politicians.

Of Re-branding and ‘Pigs in Lipstick’

Recent post by Chris: Kumekucha's warning to those seeking political office in 2012

Guest Post : By Michael Mwaura.

President Obama, revered here by some and disdainfully dismissed by others, had this to say about his Republican rival during his campaign for the presidency, “You know, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig”. This was in reference to the policies being offered by Senator McCain being similar to those of President Bush, thus implying that a vote for McCain was actually a perpetuation of the old regime.

The above quote aptly mirrors the goings on of our political parties here at home. Re-branding is the buzz word. Recently our Vice President changed the name of his political party to Wiper Democratic Movement from ODM-Kenya. Reason being, he did not want confusion at the ballot box with people intent on voting for him, voting for ODM instead. He changed his symbol from one and a half oranges to an umbrella. I think an appropriate symbol would have been an old rag or some baby wipes in keeping with his ‘Wiper’ name.

Next, the Finance minister proposed changing his party from KANU (Kenya African National Union) to KANU (Kenya Alliance National Union) How clever! I can clearly picture the everyday voter discerning the difference. Our good professor has also has been busy. He held a recruitment drive on a day after a major holiday. How well attended was this affair? We can only hazard a guess. A central theme runs through all these shenanigans being marketed as re-branding. They are still the same wolves whatever they decide to call themselves. And they want to be put in charge of the hen house called Kenya. I can positively predict that none of the chickens will make it to market.

What ails political parties?
-All are devoid of manifestos addressing the genuine concerns of the citizen. Most manifestos, if they have one, are drafted by lawyers. They are wordy yet say nothing.
-All political parties thrive on the whims of their founder. Remove the founder and that party is rudderless or dies immediately.
-All parties are detached from the grassroots. In the cases cited above, they all opened their secretariats in Lavington or thereabouts. How is the voter in the far flung areas of our country supposed to interact with their party? Well, an answer to that would be, “I will fly in on my chopper two months to election time and then its bye until the next election cycle”.
-All political parties treat campaigns as carnivals. Politicians doing road shows like aging rock stars, atop a truck, music blaring, looking pathetic trying to do the jig in vogue, dishing out blankets and cash. This does not add any value to their campaign nor does it help voters make informed decisions. This is but a tiny fraction of the ills that plague our political parties and our politics in general.

What way forward?
-We propose manifestos be prepared with the input of those they hope to represent. This can be done through informal polling using samples. The benefit of this is that we can hold politicians accountable when they take positions contrary to our wishes and demands.
-We propose political parties be structured like corporations. That way they are free of personal influences and can thrive and grow long after their founders have departed.
-We propose that political parties have a permanent presence at the grassroots. This will enable party members to interact frequently with their party and party officials can disseminate party policy more effectively.
-We propose a different method of campaigning. How about town hall style meetings? Potential candidates can make their pitch and voters can voice their opinions in a back and forth type of interaction. How about televised debates for presidential candidates like those held in North America? This would help voters differentiate the dunce from the well informed as regards their grasp of topics, ranging from the important such as the economy to the mundane such as how do we get our people to adopt a different staple food.

Lastly, and this may be contentious, I don’t think social media such as face book or twitter will any add any significant numbers to any candidates tally. I won’t defend this position, it just is so.

Comments are most heartily welcome. Please keep them civil and on course. I am sure African Teacher will not miss this opportunity to give us the unabridged version of the ‘The history of politics’.

What Chris Kumekucha is Reading: Mwau wants to block Githongo Demos

Kumekucha’s Warning To Those Seeking Political Office in 2012

In the next few months President Emilio Mwai Kibaki will leave office. The truth is that the Kibaki administration has done quite a few useful things when it comes to development and getting Kenya to the next level, but sadly all those achievements will be swallowed up by the numerous blunders and errors of judgment made by a man who was way too eager to lead the nation.
Please bare with me as I tell you a little story. Some years back I had the privilege of taking a brief spiritual course that involved Bible teachings on leadership, spirits, demons and the occult world. The instructor was a man who took every chance to comment on Kenyan politics and the major players involved in it. I took his comments very seriously because he had a track record of correctly predicting presidential results in Kenya for over 20 years including the dramatic 2002 elections that were unexpectedly peaceful and also surprisingly ushered in the opposition dethroning Kanu for the first time since independence. In 2002 he did not make his prediction at the last minute when it was so obvious Narc was going to win. He made it before the famous Kibaki/Wamalwa/Ngilu meetings to seek unity had even begun.

Anyway my point is that my instructor kept on emphasizing that people should always be very wary of those who are too eager to lead. Whether it was in the office or in national politics, the best leader was always the person reluctant to take up leadership because they were fully aware and almost frightened of the responsibilities involved.

I have proven that observation to be 1000 percent correct. In neighbouring Tanzania one Jakaya Mrisho Kikwete has always been very eager to be president and his ambition had to be cut short by none other than the founding father of that Nation Mwalimu Julius Nyerere who told CCM delegates in Dodoma that the man was not ready as he opted for a William Mkapa presidency instead. The Mkapa presidency is today viewed by the vast majority of Tanzanians as the golden years and this is just one of the reasons why Kikwete will go down in history as one of the most unpopular presidents in Tanzania as he has staggered down his presidential term with no clear priorities, agenda or workable plan to build on Mkapa achievements. His ame plane seems to have been simply “I will do better.” The poor man was way too eager to land in state house and was so sure that he could do an excellent job that he just stopped short of rubbishing his predecessor’s presidency. I am sure where he is now he has a lot more respect for President Mkapa and his presidency.

President Kibaki is no different. I have done countless posts here detailing how he arrogantly brushed off the Moi presidency assuring Kenyans that he could do a much better job. As you read this, if there was an election today pitting Kibaki against Moi, Moi would win by a landslide very close to 100 percent of the votes cast.

Beware of those who are way too eager to lead. Look for the reluctant humble candidate who respects and almost fears the grave responsibilities that leadership thrusts on anybody’s hands.

The worst mistake Kibaki ever made in his political career was in December 2007. Way back in 1969 Mwai Kibaki lost his Bahati parliamentary seat in Nairobi to a woman and just couldn’t take it and so he rigged himself back into parliament. That little story was forgotten and history would never have remembered it. Indeed Mwai Kibaki was a very respected politician in the run up to the 2007 general elections. So respected that nobody wanted to believe that he could rig an election. Not even when the writing was clearly on the wall in 2007 as he ignored the opposition and hand picked commissioners to ECK.

In retrospect history would have treated Mwai Kibaki as one of the great Kenyan presidents had he accepted the people’s verdict in 2007 and left office peacefully. For starters nobody would have died. And poor Raila Odinga would have taken the blame for a lot of the things that have happened over the last four years or so that are beyond anybody’s control, like the ugly world economic recession that persists and has brought much suffering to Kenyans. The Kibaki presidency of 2003-2007 would have really looked good. Now the member for Othaya not only has blood on his hands but also has a possible appointment at the courts in the Hague after he leaves office hanging over his head (and that is one of the reasons why he is always protecting a serial rapist and mass murderer called Al Bashir).

My message to all those seeking political office in 2012, including my dear younger brother who has always been way too eager to lead the family (although he is not the first born) and now wants to extend his “leadership qualities” to the electorate somewhere in Ukambani, is simple. Learn from Mwai Kibaki and let it go before it is too late. If you find that you are too eager to lead and are daydreaming about being called muheshimiwa or having a motorcade go with you everywhere you go… STOP. Take some aspirin and lie down and carefully think of the Kibaki and Kikwete presidency and hopefully the crazy urge will pass and you will be cured of this life-threatening condition.

Kivuitu blames Kibaki for 2007 Polls Chaos

Fairytale Year and Kumekucha Awards for 2011

What a year it has been for our motherland and this blog. Well it has been an eventful six plus year since the site kicked off with the singular call to leave no subject as a taboo. Well, the jury may still be out there but when they dock the verdict will no doubt be resolute. Kumekucha blazed the trail and even though some of the founding bloggers have of late been inactive, the heat has never diminished.

Starting on a sad note the year 2011 saw more than 100 Kenyans perish in that infamous Sinai slums in Nairobi in September. Just before that we lost Nobel Laureate and environmentalist Wangari Maathai. The late Wangari was both history and determination embodied in one fabric. But that courage succumbed to the terror that is breast cancer just like it claimed renowned novelist Margaret Ogola during the same month. Speaking of death, the universal equalizer claimed world Olympics gold medalist Samuel Wanjiru in one of the most unpleasant of circumstances. And we capped the year with the ongoing war in Somali in pursuit of the militant Al Shabaab.

Back to Kumekucha, Kenya lost an inspiration behind the blog's name. The late Habel Kifoto gave and left us his voice as we soldier on in attempt to transform this beautiful land into a better future.

This political blog continues to breathe real fire just like when it was launched way back in 2005. We all owe it to Chris despite his occasional disappearing acts which hopefully will end soon. Give it to Chris, he never minds opening the raw nerves of Kenyans in exposing taboo subject that populate our personal and/or communal cupboards.

Next comes one Mwarang'ethe. Even just mentioning that name sends emotions flying here. His tenacity and fidelity to matters economy and history is legendary. And his detractors won't miss threaded quotes which he religiously weaves to support his takes. Mwarang'ethe's provocative posts and comments remains and exercise into mental enquiry that often stands hitherto held theories stand on their head. He may be no philosophy nor general but conviction is Mwarang'ethe's stock in trade. For his calibrated and certified PASSION he has earned his spot at the top of Kumekucha awards for the second year running.

Neither Chris nor Mwarang'ethe will ever escape with any trace of explicit post thanks to our one and only e-cop. A founding blogger, Luka will never tire reminding all and sundry of the basic tenets of decency. In his book, the numerous kids and nannies visiting this blog must never be abused in any by way of explicit adult language or photos. And he grabs the KK vigilante ward.

While Phil may have gone mute for the last several months, regulars like Philip won't let Mwarang'ethe have his day without challenges. You see Philip believes in what is achievable and the baby steps before that eventual leap into nirvana which earns him the KK feasible award. Meanwhile expect Phil to come back in style and in full political combat as 2012 takes political shape.

The blog would be incomplete without the numerous anonymouses who often come with loads of both tit bits and vitriol to spice it all up. Their custom makes the site a must-visit venue to anybody who wants to feel the pulse of Kenya from without. You cannot fail to read the exported village bias (with a touch of sophistication) from these faceless Diaspora (majority). The anonymouses constitute an important cog in the big wheel reconnecting readers here with home from without. Kudos to them all.

Having lived through the historic and botched 2007 elections, Kumekuchans can only expect more fireworks from within these e-pages. Brace yourselves folks as the sun sets on 2011 and we usher in election year 2012. The faint-hearted may not survive the chocking heat from the kitchen in the next 8-12 months. Fasten your (political) seat belts please.

The Toxic Ethnic Subject Kenyans Won't Touch

Hassan Omar Hassan has touched a raw nerve with his claim that President Kibaki has ethnicized Kenya like never before with key appointments to Finance, Security, Energy and Transport dockets populated exclusively by his tribesmen. Not that what he said was new if anything the same material had gone viral in the cyber world many years before. But why all the fuss for this otherwise mundane claim from the former student leader?

Omar is no stranger to controversy as Moi University authorities would attest when he took them head on as a student leader and they ended up expelling him. True, the constitution does not discriminate against any tribe occupying any position. Also the President may have appointed these people because they are qualified. Omar has chosen to bell the cat by taking this emotive subject out of the web into the mainstream media and now many cannot stand the heat.

So is Omar just a roublerouser or simple standing facts on their feet? It may be either one or both or even neither of these two propositions depending on what language you dream in. But one thing is true, Kenyan kings hate to be reminded that they are nude. And in cue the tribal activists have found a handy (mis)use of Mzalendo Kibunja's commission by referring Omar to it as a perpetrator of hate speech.

Which leaves the question whether acknowledging and broadcasting a problem is a crime. We have seen many nominees of various commissions created in the new constitution not picked simply on the basis their ethnicity. The so-called face of Kenya is a gimmick pulled and played when convenient to mask the real tribal undertones.

If its is true all the above four ministries can have their boardroom meeting conducted in their mother tongue, which it is, are Kenyans like Omar right to bring the same for public notice and debate? Again the answer will mostly depend on your ethnic origins.

But one thing is clear about this toxic tribal debate. The hollipolloi fans it when they suffer most as their tribal lords ride on their back when caught with the principal intention of only serving their selfish interests. Moi did it and Kibaki has not made any pretense to change it but the ordinary Kalenjin and Kikuyu will militantly defend them to the hilt.

Well, two wrongs never made a right and the joke is squarely perched on the ordinary Kenyan who is used as a poodle to advance this poisonous state of affairs at our collective expense.

Omar Hassan's brave exposition is just the tip of the iceberg and as 2012 polls draw near the heat is destined to intensify only in one direction, up. How many can stand the temperatures in the kitchen? Brace yourself, tic toc.

Corruption: Now MPs Invent a Measure of Passion

So what is the standard unit of measuring passion? If only being voluble PLO-style is symptomatic of superlative passion then corruption would have been eradicated even before he assumed office. But alas, there is more to passion than just mere words and good (albeit empty) intent.

Just when you thought our MPs have had their full they have now invented a measure of passion as a yardstick to fight corruption. Seeing them falling over themselves and waxing patriotic in demanding the very virtue they lack in plenty is a sight to behold.

Trust the smart Alec's to always clothe their sectarian interests in very glossy garbs. In demanding that Ceaser's wife be beyond reproach, the new proposed anti corruption chief has been hit with allegations of impropriety while at KRA. If proven true, the KES 2.4b that he never collected as tax from Kingsway Motors (read Kamlesh Pattni) will come to haunt him big time.

And if you thought the bull fighter is alone in demanding transparency, lady MPs are seeing the whole charade as a scheme against women given that two of the three nominees are their ilk. We haven't heard the last of these lot yet.

As we near 2012, political battles will take all forms and shapes. No effort will be spared even if it means exporting out village politics to the global arena just like the Kenyan Diaspora discovered this week the hard way in the US with regards to ICC and Ocampo.

Back to the anti corruption saga in parliament. It is all heat with no intention of generating any trace of light. The whole thing is flawed all the way from top to bottom. Otherwise how else do you explain the fact that the new constitutional offices are all being filled using every criterion except merit.

Well, the engine is revving and we are just glancing the steep slope to 2012. Brace yourself ladies and gentlemen.

Bashir: Kenya Unwittingly Spoiling for Costly War

By KK Blogger

At the risk of being painted an apologist to murderers and genociduers, I beg to ask some fundamental questions with regards to the present political and diplomatic heat threatening to consume Kenya-Sudan relations. Excuse my belting out a confession as if I were a faithful adherent of Sunday observance, namely, for this I believe;

First international justice should not be limited to selective current and former presidents, but all presidents and prime ministers who have committed, sponsored, supported, abetted, and engaged in crimes against humanity, and are known to have been signatories to crimes against humanity in their own countries and abrioad.

Again excuse my belated Sunday evening service that's panctuated with dry prologues, monoloques and epilogues asking;

What Are The "Hidden Variables" of Kenya Trying To Arrest The Sitting President of Sudan?

As well as highlighting the ICC's tenacious designs of wanting to prosecute the powerful King of the lost Kingdoms of Nubia. There have always been real dissatisfactions with the kind of interpretation of all things to do with the current lopsided ICC's prosecutorial justifications with regard to the pressing issue of crimes against humanity and war crimes.

So, the real question is why al Bashir and not George Bush or Putin?

Or even the leaders of Bahrain, Colombia, Syria, Yemen, Zimbabwe, DRC, Uganda, et al, and former presidents like Daniel arap Moi?

Why not? Crimes against humanity are still crimes against humanity regardless of who committed them, where they were committed, and when they were committed.

It's not an issue of cowardice or our favourite theater of the absurd, that of engaging in false brado when we are faced with to critical issues, such as whether to try and pick fights with people like al Bashir and so forth.

As meantioned earlier on, al Bashir, the sitting President of the Republic of Sudan is not our problem, he has never been and never will unless we try to start barking at his shadow with the encouragement of certain European and North American entities.

All that's been started from the get go is a cautionary wake up to those concerned and especially the so called very ambitious high court judge who is still dreaming of landing a job at the ICC.

Kenya has two options, one is to let the ICC deal with al Bashir, in the same way it's going to deal with the leaders of the PEV in due time, all things considered.

The other deadly option, would be to mess with al Bashir and his supporters, the people of Sudan, at Kenya's own peril.

Case in point, protracted instability along the north-eastern corridors of the Kenya's porous borders.

al Bashir is who he is, we known what he has done in South Sudan and continues to do in Western Sudan, unfortunately al Bashir is not our pilipili as far Kenya's internal security is concerned.

Bashir's Ransom Wins, Court's Warrant Rubbished

Update: Now that Fatou Bensouda of Gambia is destined to succeed the voluble Louis Moreno-Ocampo, Kenya has been left with her face plastered with eggs after the 'brotherly' support of Tanzania's CJ Mohamed Chande Othman flopped. The shuttle diplomacy can only save Bashir and no more (read Ocampo6).

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High court Judge's decision to issue a warrant of arrest to Sudan's sitting President Omar Al-Bashir is the ultimate test on judicial independence from executive meddling. The Government never saw it coming or if they did they must have dismissed it with a wave of the hand confident in the old ways of doing things. No wonder they wasted no time to trivialize the not only as insensitive but irresponsible and unpatriotic too.

With predictable impunity and bravado, Foreign Affairs Minister Moses Wetangula, a lawyer himself, has indicated Bashir is headed to our shores courtesy of Kenya Government's invitation. Hiding under so-called IGAD head of states meeting will not fool anybody from the masked brinkmanship. In plain language the executive is reminding the courts who is the boss, period.

Where others see judicial activism, Wetanguala reads destructive insensitivity to national and regional matters of peace. Omar Bashir wouldn't have been happier holding the whole region at ransom with regards to peace in Southern Sudan. And he has neighbouring allies who are more than ready to irk ICC for obvious reasons.

The script is so predictable seeing foreign hands lurking in every shadow. While Bashir sponsored the Janjaweed to butcher (ethnic/black) Africans, our ears will be assaulted with drums of war castigating the West for imperialism. In the process the butcher of Khartoum will have his bloody hands cleansed with sectarian and racial detergent in the name of IGAD and/or AU.

By inviting Bashir to Kenya again the Government is rubbing salt to the wound it inflected on our national body in August 2010 during the new constitution's promulgation. If we ever thought that act of obtuse impunity was unfortunate and regrettable, well the Government is reminding all and sundry KENYA IKO NA WENYEWE.
You see with no spine to remind Sudan that the ruling was an act from our independent courts, Wetangula is circumventing the core issue to serve political expediency by throwing the balderdash that expulsion of ambassadors is a normal thing.

Poor Prof Githu Muigai must be precariously dangling between the rock and the dark blue sea. Like Wentangula he knows the LAW is LAW but again he knows which side of his bread is buttered and by whom. Damned if he acts professionally and damned if he does an Amos Wako.

Kenya Engages Reverse Gear on New Laws

Kenyan leaders must be world beaters in speaking through both sides of the mouth. While on one hand we want to be seen as modern by adopting electronic voting in the 2112 election, we cannot hasten the process by 100 days. While Mutula is promising eradication of dead voters from the election register, he is can only guarantee mayhem if the polls are held next August and not his preferred December. According to the good lawyer those four months defines the difference between chaos and order.

And by sanctioning the official mutilation of the new constitution even before its full implementation, the Speaker to Parliament Kenneth Marende has laid the foundation to golden pavement of Kenya's ruin. He completed the national betrayal by using the flawed logic of innumerable amendments to the disgraced old constitution.

True we get the leaders we deserve and Kenyans must be feeling left home and dry. The present leadership has collectively conspired to butcher the very tenets of the constitution which was painstakingly promulgated after so much bloodshed that lasted over two decades. They better know now who will never serve their national interests.

The drafters of the new constitution must have seen the present monsters coming by leaving no room for ambiguity about the election date. But alas, now our good Justice Minister Mutula Kilonzo will not stop waxing legal about the Armageddon that will be averted by four months.

We are our own worst enemies by electing the very dogs who will never stop salivating at the Kenyan carcase. These wolves provide ready and rich cannon fodder for conspiracy theorists who gleefully expose their post molars laughing at every predicament armed with hammers to which every local, national or international development is a nail.

We can author all the grand theories available in our heads but implementing them demands focused leadership. But with our present set of so-called leaders shepherding us to hell, Lucifer may consider himself dethroned from his own territory. What is more, the simplistic corruption of CON-stitution may have been very apt after all.

While the hitherto loud-mouthed NGOs lost their collective voices when they got embedded in the Narc government, the new constitution has provided yet another fertile ground for not only political horse trading with posts but obscene salaries for both the well-connected and the home boys. Meanwhile the rest of Kenya are all on their won. OLE WETU.

Throwing Stones On Behalf Of The President?

Raphael Tuju's chances of becoming president of Kenya are slimmer than those of my Grandmother, so why throw stones?

In the days of President Jomo Kenyatta the old man would settle his scores with nothing less than blood. That is a why a poor man called Pio Gama Pinto (amongst other slowish Kenyans) lost his life for simply retorting to a Jomo Kenyatta insult. Kenyatta called him an idiot and Pinto replied; you are also an idiot in front of witnesses.

Daniel arap Moi was the first to come up with the idea of having hooligans emphasize his political stand to those citizens who were a tad slow in catching the drift.

Uhuru Kenyatta’s handlers are said to have emphasized to their boss that there is now way you can become a big man in African politics without a hooligan wing to take care of business. The dreaded Mungiki are the folks who have been handling that end of affairs for the son of Jomo and it all culminated in the sad events of January 2008.

Now assuming that Raila Odinga becomes the next president of Kenya like some Kenyans believe he will and Kumekucha introduces himself somewhere in the province where I was in fact born by a strange twist of fate (although I am NOT a Luo), chances are that yours truly will suddenly find that it is raining stones on him.

What Kenyans need to discuss on a very serious note are those presidential candidates who do things in the old hooligan ways and those who do not. Sincerely in this day and age there are some issues that should be pretty clear cut. Raphael Tuju should be allowed to carry his presidential campaign anywhere in the country he wants to go and if I was a presidential candidate and folks claiming to be my supporters did such n idiotic thing as to stone a nobody with no chance at coming anywhere near the presidency in a century, then I would step down from running for the presidency. Pure and simple. But alas, there is nothing simple about Kenyan politics, is there?

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Oligarchies Unite for The Final Assault on the Sheeple

Since at least July, 2011, we have witnessed some major political moves which we fear many have not noticed, or, understood their full bearings in the scheme of things. At the headquarters of the the Western Empire, we witnessed some CREATED drama about debt ceilings and all that, live on the CNN and such other propaganda channels. So as to resolve this created circus, both Democrats led by NERO Golfer HOOVER Obama, and the Republicans agreed to form an unconstitutional super - committee of 12 TYRANTS. These 12 TYRANTS were mandated to to find out where cuts in the USA’ government must be made. Needless to say, it must also, “decide” who shall plundered more so as to raise more revenue to bailout the OLIGARCHY.

Once these 12 TYRANTS who are working BEHIND CLOSED DOORS like the Kenyan KANU of 1980’s decide who shall be plundered, their findings must be adopted by the USA’s Congress or automatic cuts must come into place. The question is, if the 12 TYRANTS who are conducting their business behind closed door meetings can order the elected leaders of the American people, we ask, where is democracy in all this? The main deal is this. The farce that goes for the Western democracy (which we call OPIUM SESSIONS) is now dead. Times are too serious for even the farcical democracy. Live with it!

That famous "evil" genius Machiavelli, wrote this:

". . .I have not found among my belongings anything as dear to me or that I value as much as my understanding of the deeds of great men, won by me from a long acquaintance with CONTEMPORARY AFFAIRS and a CONTINUOUS STUDY of the ANCIENT WORLD; these matters I have very diligently analyzed and pondered for a long time, and now, having summarized them in a little book, I am sending them to Your Magnificence."

Machiavelli, although totally misunderstood by those who call him devilish, taught us very valuable lessons on human character. Let us therefore, heed his counsel and travel to the ancient world for some insight on contemporary affairs. Leaving out a lot of details on the whole affair of war between ancient Athens and Sparta, we just note that, in 411 B.C., Athens, having been at war with Sparta and its allies since 327 B.C., was becoming FINANCIALLY EMBARRASSED and socially exhausted. To remedy the grave situation, they IMPOSED NEW TAXES on IMPORTS and EXPORTS, but, all this did not work. In other words, AUSTERITY was not working.

As a result of the deteriorating economic which must as a rule lead to social, cultural and political deterioration, the Athenian’s GOVERNING ELITE, i.e. the oligarchs, decided to overthrow the Athenian "Democracy." We put the word in this manner because, honestly, there was no democracy in Athens. So as to organize the OLIGARCHIC COUP, the oligarchs met secretly with a guy called ALCIBIADES, who had been exiled from Athens, and, who was working for the King of Persia who had in turn formed an alliance with Spartans. Having agreed to have Alcibiades recalled to Athens to lead the oligarchic coup, they sent another guy called PISANDER to plead Alcibiades case in Athens.

Unfortunately, most people in Athens did not like the idea of overthrowing the Athenian “democracy.” Even some Generals did oppose the coup. These generals were the first casualties of the coup. So as to convince the Athenians who were against the idea of an oligarchic coup, he would call them separately and ask them something like this: Now that, the Spartans and their allies have joined hands with the Persian King who is supplying them with money, ships, men etc which we do not have, can Athens survive unless we bring the Persian King on our side? Seeing the grave situation as it was, they would reply, clearly, it was not possible. Having gotten this answer, he would then speak straight to them and tell them this:

“Well, then, that is impossible unless we have a MORE INTEGRATED GOVERNMENT, with the powers in FEWER HANDS, so that the King may trust us. At the moment what we have to think about is our survival, not the form of our constitution. We can always change that later, if we do not like it. And we must bring Alcibiades back, because he is the only person now living who can arrange this for us.”

Having made it clear to the Athenians that, they had “no choice at all,” and they could change the constitution later if they wished, they gave in. In other words, the Athenians gave in to the idea of a UNITY/COALITION GOVERNMENT which was in fewer hands. This brings us to the 2011 drama.

A few days ago, the Prime Minister of Greece, announced a referendum whereby, the Greek people would have voted to accept or reject the genocidal austerity measures required by the EU and the IMF (read oligarchy). Within a few hours, he was “forced” to scrap the referendum. On top of this, he was “forced” to resign with his post taken by a TECHNOCRAT chosen by all major political parties in a government of NATIONAL UNITY which will push for the austerity measures. So, why did the Greece Prime Minister do this? Simply, he was orchestrating a crisis so as to suspend the right of the Greek people to vote on any measure dictated by the rotten and degenerate oligarchy running the world affairs. For instance, the News Sky reported that:

“Greece's Prime Minister has scrapped plans for a referendum on the eurozone bailout plan - telling Sky News he never wanted it to happen. The surprise climbdown, confirmed by the country's finance minister, came after emergency talks in which the opposition party called for early elections and immediate approval of the rescue plan. There are now unconfirmed reports that leader George Papandreou he has struck a deal to step down and hand power to a new coalition government if they help him win a confidence vote on Friday.” Source: http://is.gd/vdldIy.

There you have it. The whole circus was meant to bring in an oligarchic government which means that, whatever decisions the single party state makes for the benefit of the oligarchy must be followed by the Greek people. And, the new Prime Minister, Papademos wasted no time in telling us what his job is.

For instance, speaking to the British Establishment propaganda house, i.e. the BBC, we are told that: the new Greek Prime Minister Lucas Papademos has said the priority of his incoming coalition cabinet is to seek unity to keep Greece in the eurozone. "The choices WE make will be decisive for the Greek people," he said, adding that the euro was vital for prosperity. "The path will not be easy but I am convinced the problems will be solved faster and at a smaller cost if there is unity and consensus," he told reporters. Source: http://is.gd/Je1dHR.

And, if you have doubts who is his boss, here is his answer:

"The participation of our country in the eurozone is a guarantee for the country's monetary stability. It is a driver of financial prosperity," Papademos said after getting the mandate to form a Cabinet. "I am not a politician, but I have dedicated most of my professional life to exercising financial policy both in Greece and in Europe." Source: http://is.gd/DXH4N1.

Let us translate this jackal language for you. Monetarism is a concept of Empires, imperialists, jackals and hyenas. That is why for instance, as the Spanish Empire received more gold and silver from the mutilated, raped and murdered “Indians,” it was collapsing. As concerns FINANCE, just know this. Finance is a parasite on the real economy. As we all know, ticks can only be fat when the host is dying. In the same manner, the financial prosperity he talks about, must come at the expense of the real economy where most of the Greek people live and work. As such, when he says he has dedicated his life to financial policy, he says, he has dedicated his life to parasitism.

And, this brings us to the Italian circus. As the circus in Greece was “dying down,” Italy was subjected to a massive financial attack which drove its interest for 10 year bond to about 7%. This was the “hard evidence” required to prove that, Mr Berlusconi, elected by the Italians in their wisdom or folly, was not up to the job. So, what is the solution? Simple. Form a government of NATIONAL UNITY led by TECHNOCRATS such as the former EU commissioner Mario Monti so as to enact the “reforms” required by the oligarchy.

However, before the Italian President (we are told he is, just like the Queen of England, Sweden etc a ceremonial decoration. What a LIE told to the humanity since 1848?) could accept the resignation of Mr Berlusconi, he had to ensure passage of some draconian austerity measures which include: an increase in VAT, from 20% to 21%, a freeze on public-sector salaries until 2014, the retirement age for women in the private sector will gradually rise, from 60 in 2014 until it reaches 65 in 2026, the same age as for men, measures to fight tax evasion will be strengthened, including a limit of 2,500 euros on cash transactions, there will be a special tax on the energy sector and above all, that employers must be allowed to hire and fire people more easily if business is to be given a freer hand. What about this Mario Monti as compared to the Italians who will be fired and hired like the feudal serfs. He is a SENATOR FOR LIFE. Source: http://is.gd/34s02S.

But, who is behind these suspensions of what are already farcical democracy? Again, we turn to the British Establishment mouth piece where we are told that, in the past few weeks a kind of politburo has emerged. This POLITBURO of the United Oligarchic Republic of Europe is made up of three “democratically” elected leaders, i.e. the German Chancellor Angela Merkel, the French President Nicolas Sarkozy and Jean-Claude Juncker, the Prime Minister of Luxembourg.

In addition to the three “democratically” elected leaders, we have other FIVE TYRANTS on the table. In its propagandist manner, the BBC sanitises the FIVE TYRANTS this way:

“Also at the table are five others chosen by their peers: Jose Manuel Barroso and Ollie Rehn from the European Commission; Herman Van Rompuy from the European Council; Mario Draghi, the new president of the European Central Bank; and all the way from Washington (but really from France) Christine Lagarde, the head of the IMF.” Source: http://is.gd/VanQDD.

We “do not know” who are the peers who chose these 5 TYRANTS to lord over Europe like the feudal lords. However, we hope, we have shed some light on what is really going in the “Democratic” West. But, do not worry at all, for, just like Pisander assured the ancient Athenian’s, we are assured by the BBC that this is called leadership in extraordinary times, for in BBC’s words:
“But what is interesting about this inner core within the inner core is that it has begun to flex its muscles. Leadership - that is what we have all been crying out for, isn't it? It has been pressure from members of the Frankfurt Group which has helped unseat recalcitrant prime ministers in Italy and Greece. That may raise questions about democratic legitimacy, but these are extraordinary times.” Source: http://is.gd/VanQDD.

Now, we seek not to express any views about measures, policies, follies etc taken which have led to this crisis, or any measures wise or foolish and childish proposed to solve the crisis. What we wanted to point is this:

The oligarchy has gambled big and lost. Instead of accepting their losses as one would expect in a free market which they preach to us, they have decided to unite under such names like unity, consensus, coalition, technocrat led governments, bipartisan committees and such pompous names so as to force down the “throats” of the masses their laws of plunder. Actually, may be, the French author, Linguet was damn right in correcting Mr Montesquieu’s juridical illusions when he noted that, “The Spirit of Laws is Property.” If not so, are we not now witnessing massive legal changes in the so called Democratic West, so as to: (a) protect the oligarchy's stolen property, and (b) legalise future robbery by the same oligarchy?

Why Kenya is in VERY Serious Trouble

I got rather amused the other day reading what very many worried Kenyans had to say about our youth joining the ranks of Al Shabab. They all had the same simple solution; create jobs for the youth.

This illustrates very clearly the growing divide we have in our beloved country between what I call the have-something and the have-nothing-with-little-or-no-hope-for-tomorrow. This is an extremely dangerous divide and it grows wider (and rather rapidly at that) by the day. Those have-something comfortable readers of Kumekucha seated in some office in a high rise building in Nairobi belching and farting some heavy lunch and pretending to be very informed about Kenya versus that vast majority of Kenyans seated in some single room somewhere trying to figure out where their next meal is going to come from… and how to avoid meeting anybody from the long list of people they owe money. The interesting thing is that a vast majority of these folks do indeed have a job.

I find it quite a challenge explaining what these guys feel when they go into a supermarket to buy 2 kilos of Sugar that they are going to share out with 3 other families (who all contributed) and find themselves right next to a fellow Kenyan at Tuskys who has just casually spent Kshs 15,000. These less fortunate Kenyans can only stare in envy because they have the kind of wallets that would pass out in shock if they contained even half that kind of money at any one time, no kidding.

That’s why I laugh when our professional and extremely well-educated class suggest that we create jobs to save our youth from Al Shabab. I laugh and cry at the same time because history tells us that shortly before the French revolution somebody wondered why the starving masses didn’t go for cake if they could find no bread.

But there is more than that on my mind this morning. We have the most careless and reckless president in the history of our country leading us into a war with Al Shabab. Most of the local press seems to have missed a major point here. Wars cost money… a lot of money. Why isn’t anybody talking about that. How are we financing this war? And this comes at a time when we are facing perhaps the most serious economic crisis the country has ever seen since it was birthed in 1963.

Now don’t get me wrong. I have lots of patriotic blood running through my veins and I am well aware that we had little choice in the matter at hand. But considering the fact that some Al Shabab heavies are so cosy with some characters in government (a story so sensitive that it can only be published in my raw notes), couldn’t we have found another solution to this problem? Something more appropriate to the times and the situation? After all America went to war against the Al Qaeda in Afghanistan and years later what is the result?

This is the reason why I am preparing a set of posts to help Kenyans survive the coming hard times and even see the massive opportunities amid all the serious problems and catastrophes that we face and will sink deeper into in the weeks and months to come.

Post on Prime Minister to follow soon.

Is The Prime Minister Corrupt?

Is it possible that Raila "must be president in 2012" Odinga is corrupt?

I launched this blog in 2005 with an open mind. I promised myself to be balanced and NOT to have any sacred cows. Not even my hero and the biggest inspiration behind this blog, one Tom Mboya has been spared. I have always told it as it is and almost paid with my life once.

At the beginning there was no problem because I uncovered little on one Raila Odinga. But now things have gotten really hot. It seems that it is okay to criticize Mwai Kibaki and say all sorts of things about him... but the minute I say anything negative about Raila Odinga... TROUBLE.

The last time I published some info on the man in my raw notes, this blog was shut down by a very serious Malware attack. Luckily highly skilled friends of this site bailed us out. I also received some very angry emails from some of my subscribers... HOW DARE I..?##$@!!

I am scared. What do I do with the information I have on Raila Odinga and corruption at the PM's office? What do I do with info that I have been researching over the last 2 years or so?

Help me answer the question with the multiple choice answers below.

a) I cannot afford to have the blog shut down again... NOT NOW. So I keep quiet and survive to fight another day.

b) I reveal only bits and pieces carefully leaving out any incriminating bits that mention the "holy" Captain and pretend that I am being fair and balanced.

c) Contact PNU hardliners for a hefty bribe in exchange for the information (although it may be a little late now with the latest developments at the PM's office.)

d) Seek political asylum and all the high profile stuff that goes with it... probably in Ethiopia or even better... Libya. Actually my first choice would be South Africa followed by Swaziland (have always dreamt about attending those dances where the King selects a new bride annually).

e) Publish a Mwai-Kibaki-bashing post instead and weave all kinds of conspiracy theories about how this whole thing is a PNU plot to finish Raila after he attacked the President Kibaki last week concerning 2008 poll chaos. This will sell better and give me more traffic especially from ODM strongholds in the US and Europe.

f) Publish and be damned.

Guys tell me what to do.

Why Are We Still Supplying Cash and Khat To Somalia?

The Bitter option indeed

There are wars that you get involved in for very justifiable reasons. For example a neighbouring country invades you and you defend yourself. If you lose precious lives in such a conflict you somehow feel that it is justified.
But Kenya has now been sucked into what is really somebody else’s war. A war that has nothing to do with us. Why do we keep on losing Kenyan lives on behalf of the United States of America? The country where Kenyans need to have an HIV test to go to (apart from going through all kinds of embarrassing and uncomfortable procedures to qualify for a mere 7 day visa)? Truly the US must be heaven, as Martha karua once said. But folks now we are at war because ncle Sam can’t do his own tidying up well enough.

If the Al Shabab rebels without a cause hate the friends of America so much, why don’t they attack Liberia and other countries that are much closer to the United States? Why poor impoverished problem-ridden Kenya? The country hosting relatives of Al Shabab guys?

Most Kenyans remember the bombing of the US embassy in Nairobi which at the time was the biggest strike against the Americans anywhere including US soil. But was it really against the Americans? How many Americans died? And how many Kenyans died? Well over 100 innocent Kenyans lost their lives while a handful of Americans died. How unfair!!!

Now our hand has been forced into entering Somalia to pursue some confused kids who get an erection every time the name Al Quaida is mentioned. More Kenyan blood will be spilt… and for what?

It just makes me very angry because I know what it means going to war. Or sending your brothers and sons who happen to be in the Kenya army to war. Sadly politicians don’t think in those terms. More dangerously so the man sitting in State House now who knows that he cannot constitutionally seek a third term (and neither can he steal another term like he did the last time).

But even more ridiculous is the fact that we are still exporting tons of khat (miraa) to Somalia every day. You can imagine that Al Shabab confused kid sitting on his carpet in the evening chewing the stuff for inspiration on where and how to hit us next. Yep we are inspiring the enemy. Instead of hitting him where it hurts the most.

How about shutting down Eastleigh? I know many innocent Somalis will suffer but I believe Kenyan lives will also be saved because it has been proved that Al Shabab financing comes through Kenya. ALWAYS!! And so apart from supplying the enemy with Khat we are also their banker and money transfer agent.

WOW!!!

What Chris Kumekucha is reading: Man died on plane while being deported back to Africa

Hero Tom Mboya finally honoured 42 years after Kenya desperately tried to forget this great man.

Vision 2099: Occupy State House and Bunge

Having learnt first hand from our in-house resident KK economist it is clear that the writing is on the wall: - time has come for Kenyans en masse to become part of the spreading global revolution. You have to hand it to the Arab world and their spring movement for inspiring a worldwide rebellion against economic injustice. True to form the North Americans never fail to miss a beat when it comes to organizing vocal protest groups to vent their frustrations against the imperialist son of Kogelo seated in the WhiteHouse.

Make no mistake: the present worldwide economic meltdown is SOLELY to blame for the economic hardships besotting Kenyans. No single individual in Kenya is wealthy enough to hoard dollars in any commercial bank that can cause an entire economy to devalue its currency. Whining Kenyans have no reason to complain about forfeiting luxury items like sugar and bread. But it is another matter all together when the cost of living touches on the most basic survival staple food UNGA. Matters are only made worse when the teachers and doctors the foundation of any society are forced to take matters into their own hands in the name of seeking commensurate remuneration

Yes the squeeze is undeniably evident amongst wanaNICHI as all sectors of life and economy experience prices shooting through the roof but only self-denial can make anybody divorce Kenyans current predicament from bad governance and LACK OF LEADERSHIP by example and from in front.The economists do not lack necessary credentials it takes to see the economy grow from outside your window but they never fail to miss an opportunity to address issues critical to Kenyans. But before you judge the ruling elite harshly remember they are only playing to the gallery by keeping the country in a permanent election mood with hardly a year left to the next polls.

The voting public must now be ready to hold peaceful elections this very minute and occupy state house for the sake of reigning in economic SHEEPLE. Any other attempts to discuss politics in the face of a financial crisis is mere window dressing as the ruling class have perfected their skills at stealing, misallocating resources all the while snarling at international Kangaroo courts of justice attempts to encroach on our very Kenyan turf. Well sorry we have a mind of our own as Kenyans and will not easily be taken in by western propaganda. NA BADO

Can the Kenya Army Defeat The Al Shabab?

Other recent posts by Chris:

The Bitter Option Indeed

Could this be what the government is doing with US Dollars?

There was very heavy gunfire outside and I was huddled inside the tiny cupboard with my mother and younger brother (two years younger than me). I was only a handful of years old but I was really scared. More scared than I have ever been in my life. My kid brother threw up in the cupboard all over my mum’s night gown. This was Isiolo. My dad was not home having gone to the officer’s mess for his usual evening drink and Shifta bandits had raided the town and taken everybody (including the heavy Kenya Army presence) completely by surprise. I can remember the events of that day as if it was only yesterday, young as I was then.
An American marine stripped almost naked and being dragged painfully along the streets of Mogadishu to a large crowd of cheering onlookers in the early 1990s shortly before President Clinton hurriedly pulled out American forces from the Wildest Wild West of Africa. Can the Kenya Army now win a war that American could not?

Years later I learnt that things had not been any better at the mess which was a stone’s throw from where we lived. Everybody had taken cover when the Somali Shifta gunfire had started, including my dad. Somebody had also hit the lights and the place was in darkness. But after a short while my dad noticed some liquid on the floor near him. There seemed to be a leak somewhere. Or had somebody poured petrol into the place waiting to ignite it and destroy everything and everybody in there? He anxiously scooped up the liquid and carefully smelt it. It wasn’t petrol. It was human urine. The officer taking cover right next to him had passed urine over himself in fear.

As you might have guessed I survived that unforgettable night of 1968. Somehow the Soldiers and police in town managed to keep the Shifta bandits at bay but fighting continued into the wee hours of the morning because I remember dozing off with gun fire still ringing in my ears.

That was the Shifta war of the late 1960s. Now history has brought us full circle and the new name for the same enemy is Al Shabab.

As predicted by this blogger in my raw notes months ago, after being defeated in Mogadishu, the Al Shabab have resorted to guerrilla tactics against Kenya. These Somali terrorists have become such a serious threat to Kenya that for the first time in the history of our nation we are at war. Nobody wants to say it but that is exactly what is happening as you read this.

The Kenya Army has been deployed to our borders with orders to neutralize all Al Shabab threats 100 KM into Somalia from our borders. If that is not full scale war, then I need to go back to school to learn English.

This new development brings back old memories of the terror that the Shifta unleashed on Kenyans. You see the Somalis are masters of guerrilla tactics and if you do not believe it ask the crack American Marines who were defeated very embarrassingly on the streets of Mogadishu in the early 1990s.

In other words we have entered a Vietnam situation. For those who throw up at the mention of history a quick translation is in order. Ladies and Gentlemen the Kenya army has entered a war that it can never win. We lost the shifta war of the late sixties with very heavy casualties and there is nothing to suggest that this time round the results will be different.

Admittedly we have very few options in this matter as our neighbours Somali seem to be very determined to share their chaos with us. Even full international intervention will not wipe out the Al Shabab threat overnight.

I hate to be the one to break this to you on a Monday morning of all days... but apart from our other numerous problems, including a free falling Kenyan Shilling that is yet to hit the ground, we are now at war as a nation.

God help Kenya.

Kenyan Forces Pursue Al Shabab into Somalia

The Bitter Option Indeed!

Read another recent post by Chris: Is this what the government is doing with US dollars?

Safaricom strategy at the expense of Kenyans: Sustain big fat profits at all costs!!

It is now cheaper to call a Safaricom subscriber from rival Yu or Zain lines! Yep cheaper by a whole shilling than it is to call the same Safaricom subscriber from a Safaricom line. This is all in the latest effort by one of the most profitable enterprises in the history of East And Central Africa to further jack up their stinkingly huge profits. It matters little to them that Kenyans are going through the hardest of times hit by a free falling Kenyan shilling and inflation that is stubbornly pointing north.

You would think that such a creative company would find other more creative ways of sustaining their obscene revenues and profits. It may not be easy for most Kenyans to picture just how much money Safaricom is already making from Kenyans. And so let us take their revenue in the last financial year. If it was to be distributed to all Kenyans we would all get slightly over Kshs 2,000 each!!! Including your small two month toddler!!

But the really fascinating thing about Kenyans is that they have opted to stick with the bitter option and in effect frustrate the initiative towards lower calling tariffs. You would have thought that Kenyans would actively support low tariff networks like Yu, but it seems that it has all become an image game and everybody wants to show that they do not have any cash problems by sticking to Safaricom, no matter how bitter the experience is in reality.

Could This Crazy Story Be True?

As most of you already know, this blogger relies a lot on tips and information given in confidence to stay ahead in this game. I classify my informants into two general categories going by the track record of the reliability of their information. These categories are “reliable” and “unreliable.” And even then I try my best never to publish any information until I have verified it from at least two independent sources. It is always very difficult to verify some of the crazy tips I receive and most of it is impossible to check out.
When I cannot confirm the accuracy of a tip I will usually just file it away for future reference.

I always get amazed at how tips re-emerge many months later and turn out to be pretty accurate, even when they have come from very unreliable and untested sources.

I will never forget the most ridiculous tip I have ever received for the Kumekucha blog. It came a few months before the disputed 2007 presidential elections and it came from a source that was usually very unreliable. I was told that President Kibaki would steal the presidential elections and would win by a very thin margin of about 200,000 votes or less. That was ridiculous, I said to myself. Surely whoever crafted such a plan would see the blood bath that would result if anybody were to try out something so recklessly stupid. President Kibaki was many things but surely he would never sanction something as crazy as that, I told myself.

Still the warning bells went off in my head and I decided to sound off the tip with somebody who knew the president very well. Their reaction shocked me.

“It is very possible. He has done it before.” They went on to refer me to a little know story I had never heard of, about a parliamentary election in Nairobi in 1969 where Kibaki lost to a woman.

The second person I called gave me the right reaction I was looking for. They laughed. “You have to be careful about these sources of yours, that tip is more appropriate for comedy.” When we hang up, the person was still laughing. “You’ve made my day with that crazy story of yours,” they said.

Today I want to share a very crazy tip with you guys.

Months ago. When the Kenya shilling was still very firm against the US dollar somebody whispered something crazy into my ear. I shall call my informant the mathematician. Our conversation went something like this.

Mathematician:- Get out your calculator I have a story that is too hot even for Kumekucha.
KK;- Really?
Mathematician:- Imagine a situation whereby you wanted to raise a lot of money for an election campaign and you were in a position to manipulate the exchange rate. What would you do?
KK;- Am not sure, you tell me.
Mathematician:- The simplest way would be to accumulate all the dollars I would get my hands on, beg borrow and even steal. Cause the shilling to dramatically depreciate, cash in and then after a few months of crazy profits proceed to cause the shilling to recover. Mission accomplished. Check out that story.

To be very honest, I found this the most ridiculous story I had ever heard. Everybody knows that even the government can not really manipulate the exchange rate. And so I made only one call. When I am looking for information I never make the classic Kenyan journalist mistake of wanting to look intelligent. I play dumb and it works very well. And so the guy on the other end started giving me a long lecture on monetary policy at the end of which I was almost sound asleep. I was barely conscious enough to say my thanks and hang up. End of story.

But last night I started looking carefully at the chain of events that have taken place since the shilling went on a free fall. I paid special attention to the reaction of the government and especially the carefully choreographed events of the past week or so where Central Bank has thrown the ball to the Finance Minister who has promptly acted. Now as far as I know these are guys who should have been talking to each other behind the scenes since they came into office. Indeed there are those who believe that these conversations are carried out in the common mother tongue all these guys share so as to eliminate the possibility of any misunderstandings about the monetary policy going forward (but that is a story for another day.)

At the end of my careful analysis, I remembered that ridiculous tip I received months ago from the Mathematician.

And so when somebody called me to ask me what was happening about a new post, I decided to share with you good people, about what I am following up currently.

Will keep you posted on this ridiculous and very possibly false tip that has stubbornly refused to stay filed away with the other “absurd” tips.

Cremation: Wangari Defies Tradition in Death

She continues to defy both tradition and stereotypes even in death. Her love for trees continues in her will to be cremated instead to cutting trees to make a coffin for her. Wangari Maathai's trail blazing is a spectacle in all spheres of a rich life lived humbly.

They say a dead professor is like a library burnt down. Well, a cremated professor must double the loss. Wangari's smart will to be cremated has denied scheming politicians to hijack her burial. The family has made it plain that the cremation at Kariokor will be a private a fair sparing us crocodile tears and plastic eulogies.

It is both a paradox and coincidence that Wangari is being buried at the height of announcing this year's Nobel prizes. And she is not alone now that we have seen a posthumous nomination for the Medicine prize. Prof Ralph Steinman missed his moment of glory by three days after dying from pancreatic cancer last Friday. But the good news he left the human race the richer with his scientific discovery on the immune system.

Back to our elite Wangari who refused elitism. She fought the fight, dirtied her hands and never whined about feminism waiting for portfolios on a silver platter. She went and grabbed what the women folk deserved. Our only tribute must be living her legacy.

You Have Reason To Be Very Afraid

The Kenya shilling recently crossed the Kshs 100 mark against the dollar, and was still galloping furiously as it did so. Obviously not everybody is an economist and so I will deliberately keep the language simple and jargon-free in this post.

The long and short of it is that you have reason to be afraid… very afraid.

One of the reasons you must be very afraid is that all this is happening before the full effects of the 2012 general elections set in. I will tell you what those will be later in this post. But let me start by saying that I ignored the advice of a friend to start this post by referring to my earlier articles warning of this chaotic situation about 3 months ago. I hate it when somebody tells me “I told you so..” and I am sure others hate it too and so I have not even linked to the set of articles I did then. They are really NOT important now.

This is hardly the time to start looking clever and smart and maybe a prophet of sorts when the country is faced with the worst economic crisis of its’ history. Yes, the worst ever in the history of the republic of Kenya. What a feather on the cap of the Kibaki legacy this is!!!

Let’s just cut to the chase and talk about what Kenyans should now expect.

Clearly we have reached panic mode. What that means is that we should now expect massive capital flight. That means that people will flee from the Kenyan shilling to save their cash and assets from further rapid depreciation. This will further erode the value of the already weak shilling. An exchange rate of Kshs 120 to the dollar is not too far in the horizon now.

This will cripple many businesses that rely on imports. Massive layoffs will follow, and businesses should already be shutting down as you read this.

Looking out of your window now all may seem calm, but be warned, it is the calm before the storm which shall surely come.

Who is to blame? Prof Njuguna Ndungu the governor of the Central Bank who waited too long to do anything, even as analysts screamed at the top of their voices that there was a problem? Personally I don’t think so. The main culprit is President Kibaki who has been the real Finance Minister and the real governor of the Central bank all along. His old school economics has run out of legs in the modern world of sudden upheavals and unprecedented unpredictability and chaos. Clearly a younger less “experienced” man would have done much better for Kenya. This is yet another wake up call to Kenya voters to let all the old men go home to rest and let’s elect younger blood for better or for worse to handle the new world.

What really scares me is that as we head to 2012 I was still expecting plenty of capital flight anyway as many in the monied class relocate to avoid paying for their sins under the new fully implemented constitution. Not to mention money markets that will be jittery as we go into another election when the wounds of the last chaotic one have yet to heal. If things continue the way they are then the shilling will probably be exchanging at Kshs 300 by the time we go to the polls.